Wesker's Bad Days
by super dark link
Summary: Wesker's having very VERY bad days
1. The beginning

Disclamer: I don't own re or wesker.

* * *

This was not a very good day for Albert Wesker. For one thing Birkin had 'accidentally' blown up a bottle of hair dye and turned Wesker's hair purple.

It took him 5 hours and a bottle of blonde hair spray to return his hair to its former glory. Now he was currently inside Spencer mansion trying to get rid of S.T.A.R.S. for good. Just moments ago he heard a scream come from one of the bathrooms.

"What the hell happened…?" He mumbled as he opened the door. "DIE YOU GREEN FREAK." Was all he heard when a flame went right by his hair. "OH MY GOD."

He screamed and he ran around in circles. His hair was on fire. "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF." He yelled and he ran into the wall 5 times. "AHHHHHH."

He screamed in a very brad like way. "Don't worry captain. Just stay still." Jill said trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.

She had tried to spray some water on his head but nothing happened. "MOVE." Wesker yelled as he flew into the tub and doused off the flames. "JILL VALENTINE."

He roared, but was cut short as 2 hunters popped up out of nowhere. It seems Wesker's screams attracted some attention.

Jill let out a high pitched scream killing the first hunter immediately. The other was in so much of a daze that when he tied to slash wesker. He cut a very large amount of his hair off.

Jill stopped and stared. So did the hunter. Wesker was in a state of shock that he did not notice Chris come in. He too stared at Wesker's sizzling, cut hair and stopped. Then they all busted out into fits laughter.

Wesker growled and took out his berretta. With one good shot to the head he killed the hunter. "Shut up if you don't want to end up like him." He growled and the other two quieted down.

* * *

Wesker was trying to make his way to the tyrant room when he spotted a red herb on the ground. "Hmm….I wonder what this does." He mumbled as he crushed it and put it into his mouth.

Everything turned into a rainbow of different colors. "Whoa…this is so cool." He said as a vial of the T-virus floated past him. "Come back beautiful." He yelled as he chased a stray hunter who just so happened to scamper past.

It let out a high pitched squeal as it ran. Wesker jumped it and threw them both into a closet. "Oh yea." He mumbled and the hunter broke down the door and ran.

"Wait baby I LOOVE YOU!" He proclaimed as he continued to chase it until his face collided with a door that Chris opened. "No wait Chris maybe we should stick together." Jill said.

"Right. Chris said with a smile and followed her out. They were both unaware of the massive dent in the door….

* * *

R&R PEOPLES . 


	2. A little visit

disclamer: I DONT OWN RESIDENT EVIL

* * *

Claire was walking up the stairs to enter the palace when Wesker appeared out of nowhere. "How did you do that?" She asked. "Do what?" He asked. "Pop up out of nowhere." "It's my secret and I can't tell you because you suck."

Slap. "HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. He punched her and Claire went flying into a wall.

"Nobody talks to Albert wesker like that." Claire glared at him and took out her cell phone. She punched zero and waited for the operator. "Hello operator get me the number of the Wesker's." Wesker paled.

"Hello Mrs. Wesker this is Claire Redfield. Im just calling to let you know that your son abuses women. Yup he abused me a little girl named sherry and a woman named Jill valentine. We are in an umbrella base in Antarctica. O.K bye."

She smiled evilly and waited. "YOU WHORE." He yelled and attacked her. He grabbed her neck and was about to choke her when a large helicopter flew by and dropped a capsule down. It landed with a thud. It opened and out came a large woman with a black combat outfit on and blonde hair. She also wore sunglasses.

"ALBERT READ WESKER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING." She yelled. So loud that all the windows broke and 3 Bandersnatchers died. "N-n-nothing mother." He said trembling. "Then why are you choking that girl huh." He threw her down

. "She started it." "COME HERE BOY." She said glaring at him. He walked over to her and she grabbed him by the ear. "I thought I taught you better than this but I guess not." She took him inside and into one of the rooms.

Claire could hear the slap echo all through out the palace. It happened again and 5 more times until she came out. "Thank you girl." She said smiling as a ladder fell out of the sky. She left and wesker was nowhere in sight. " That had to hurt." She said with a smile before leaving.

* * *

Wesker was rubbing his sore butt as he released 2 hunters to go after Chris. "That will teach him and that stupid girl not to mess with me. How dare she call my mother. Then mother had to go and spank me." 

He heard laughter and looked at the monitor. Alfred was currently laughing his ass off because of what happened to wesker. "HAHAHAHAHA YOU GOT SPANKED BY YOUR MOTHER. HAHAHAHAHA."

He kept laughing until he choked on his own saliva and died. "HAHAHAHA WHO'S LAUGHING NOW." He said with a smirk.

"I am.." Said a voice coming from the monitor. It was alexia. He turned to look only to cover his eyes in fear. "OH MY GOD." He screamed running around in circles trying to gouge his eyes out .

He had just seen alexia naked….and not in her tyrant for either. He quickly turned off the monitor and ran to the bathroom to wash his eyes out with soap.

* * *

r&r pleasies 


	3. Babysitting

DISCLAMER: do i have to say it again (gets electricuted) OWWW i own nothing but bob...ashlesy and this peice of cheese...

Thanks to Sara A. Wesker, Nickouls Elflame, Remoryu, and J Wesker for reviewing...ON WITH THE SHOW.

* * *

Wesker was sitting in his lab. The burn that Chris gave him had fully healed. Ada was doing all of his work for him and nothing could go wrong….or so he thought.

But something had to go wrong…like it always does. He decided to take a stroll around the HCF lab's to look at the experiments.

A random man…(lets cal him Bob shall we) or Bob walked up to wesker and smiled. "Hey wesker the boss told me to tell you that he has a special assignment for you to do." Wesker scoffed and made his way to his bosses' room.

Inside on one of the chairs was a little girl no older than 6. He sat down and his boss smirked at him. "Wesker I have an important job for you…..I need you to take care of my little girl. Her name is Ashley.My wife is sick and I have some stuff to do."

Wesker was shocked beyond belief. He couldn't baby-sit this pint-size twerp. He had things to do.

"Ill pay you extra hen normal." Ok….now he could. She latched on to his arm and smiled…when they were out of his bosses' office she turned into the devils incarnate.

"You listed and you listen here you Blond sunglass wearing FREAK. Im in charge…I make the rules…if I ask for a teddy…YOU GIVE ME A GOD DAMN TEDDY."

She screamed. Wesker was regretting ever saying yes. "Take me to the store NOW." She screamed. Wesker answered coolly "What in the hell makes you think I am your personal slave."

He said. "Because if you don't…ill tell my daddy and he'll get you out of here faster than a rabbit on crack." Wesker stared at her and started walking. "Let's go." He said silently

_Thirty minutes later_

Ashley was happily munching on an ice cream sandwich, while wesker was holding more than eight shopping bags.

His back was definitely hurting and she was whining again. They were headed for the astronomy tower in the planetarium and she was on the elevator.

Wesker had to walk up the stairs. His foot came down too fast and he tripped. He fell the whole way down but the bags safely landed on the top step.

Wesker, on the other hand, had fallen all the way down. He was hospitalized and in a matter of minutes he was next to Ashley in a wheel chair with a broken leg, arm and a neck cast.

Wow hospitals these days. They can heal a patient in a matter of seconds. Ashley quickly grew tired of the planetarium and they were headed back.

She spotted some really cute shoes on sale and ran toward them. "BE RIGHT BACK." She yelled and left him there all alone.

Then a kid ran and knocked into him. Wesker's Wheelchair was pushed forward and it moved toward the stairs.

He pushed back with his hand but the wrist bandage got caught on the handle. The chair tipped on the last stair…….then it fell. Wesker was hospitalized again.

What else will happen when Wesker baby-sits……..

* * *

I UPDATED YAY R&r please 


	4. when A stranger calls pt1

Oh my god it's been 2 months since i updated and i am very sorry but now schools out and can update ALOT FASTER WHOOT on with the show.

Disclamer: idon't own resident evil or the movie when a stranger calls...

* * *

Wow well ever since the baby-sitting incident Wesker had kept trying to avoid his boss because of the fact that the girl was in the building AGAIN.

"Shit…..shit…..shit…" He mumbled trying to stay low in his office. Trouble was that it was office inspections and the boss was doing them today. The real inspector's wife was in labor. Poor inspector in a matter of years his life will become a living hell because IT WAS A GIRL.

Moving on, the boss (how about Jack) or Jack was just 3 offices away and Ashley was with him. She looked like an angel, but once she spotted Wesker she grinned maniacally.

Then after a few seconds jack was right in front of him. "Wesker I am so glad to see you." He said with a smile. "_Oh crap"_ Wesker thought. _"PLEASE NO" _"You see my daughter said you were the best baby-sitter she ever had so…..I need a sitter again, but this time it's a house call." "A house call?" Wesker asked. "What do you mean?" "My wife and I are going to a restaurant and probably a movie too so we need some one to take care of our kids." "KIDS?" Wesker almost yelled. "Yes Ashley and Bradley. They are both angels and well pay you triple." "DONE." Wesker yelled. Money can really persuade people these days can't it.

* * *

Wesker was in awe at the house. It was HUGE. The lights turned on by movement and there was a whole room devoted to the birds and the fish that they had. They also had a cat who was watching the birds probably wanting to eat them. The kids were amazingly asleep and the fridge was stocked.

"All the numbers you'll need are on the fridge and please try not to wake the kids. It takes us hours just to put them out." Jack said with a smile. "We'll be back around midnight. Oh and the code for the alarm is 666. Bye." Jack's wife said smiling.

After they left wesker sat on the couch and started to dose off when the phone rang. "Hello." Wesker answered. "……….." There was heavy breathing on the other line and wesker was getting aggravated. "Hello who is this?" "…………..have you checked the children?" He asked then he hung up. Wesker blinked then he looked up the stairs where the kids' room was then he whirred around as a motion light turned on.

He ran up the stairs to the kids' room and woke them up. "What the hell…" Ashley mumbled. "Look kid someone's in the house." He said "WHAT." She screamed causing Bradley to wake up. "SHHHHH" Wesker whispered.

He took them down stairs and Ashley made him trip. "God you are such an idiot." Bradley mumbled. Then all of a sudden a light came on in the room next to them. Wesker opened the door into the big bird/fish room. "AHHHHH HES IN HERE." Ashley screamed as she pushed wesker out of the room.

He got up and was about to grab them when the door was slammed into his face. "Sorry it's us or you and volunteer you." Ashley said as she locked the door. The freaky phone dude was RIGHT BEHIND HIM. "I WANT YOUR BLOOD." He told wesker but was cut off as wesker quickly snapped his neck. "HOLD ON IM TALKING HERE." Wesker yelled but he froze when Bradley screamed "GRAMPA"

Wesker turned and looked at the body and he saw that it was an old man. "Crap." He said but the phone Rang again. "HELLO" Wesker screamed annoyed and was answered with an ominous voice. "Whoops wrong guy" He said and hung up. "Double crap." Wesker mumbled. Then Ashley screamed again. "HE IS REALLY IN HERE." Wesker looked in time to see a man pop up out of the water." Triple crap." He mumbled

* * *

R&r please 


End file.
